Design governing principles to make good relationships and marriages!

What would you like your family to be like? I mean do you have a picture of what you want your family should be before you make it? This is then the aim of this time’s write up.

Am compelled to write about it because I have seen many relationships and marriages running on unending crises, moods, quick fixes and instant self gratifications instead of sound principles that govern the way of life and bring harmony in homes.

It is very easy to see a relationship or a marriage which is not working on right principles for the symptoms are evident on the surface more so whenever there is stress and pressure. People become very critical; sometimes silent or they start yelling and overreacting.

The children, who see these kinds of behaviors, happen to grow up thinking that the only to solve problems is fighting or flight.

For the reason that I hate fighting and unbecoming behavior in the would be lovely homes, I wish to invite you all to learn that there are correct, changeless principles and values that we can share to live happily.
A family can sit and write a mission statement which they have to use their constitution in which they operate. The members or parties in the relationship are all meant to be involved so that they agree and own it. It should be friendly to all.

When made, this constitution becomes the standard, the criterion for evaluation and decision making. It gives unity and continuity to the family and a correct sense of direction. When every member’s values are harmonized with those of the whole family, they then work together for  common purposes which are deeply set in their minds. When we get the input from every family member in drafting the mission statement, getting feedback, revising it, a choosing the right wording we get the family talking and communicating on things that matter deeply within their minds.

The best mission statements a made when the members come together in mutual respect, expressing their varied views and working together to create something greater than any one individual could do alone. The statement can be periodically reviewed to expand perspective, give more emphasis, shift direction, and make amendments or to give new meaning to worn out phrases.

The mission statement/ constitution becomes the framework for thinking and for governing the relationships, marriages, and homes. When a problem or a crisis comes we pull out the guidelines we made and read to show us the direction to go.

I advise you to place your mission statement in a place where everyone can see it from, so that each member is able to look at it and get reminded of the things that matter most and to provide direction for problem solving and decision making.

Include issues to do with love, order, cooperation, helpfulness, responsible independence, talents development, serving giving and others as you may please.
With a mission statement, when we are planning our goals and activities, we don’t do so in darkness but light for we have a guiding tool to show us the way.

To conclude this time, this is what I have to say: anything successful requires proper planning; if you fail to look at your future before you get into it, you have already lost your sense of direction and are destined to doom.