The secret to great sex in your marriage!

‘’How can a woman enjoy sex?’’  I whispered to the counselor on phone. ‘Please speak louder, I really cannot hear you,’ she said. After turning my head right and left to ensure that no one was listening in, I tried again, this time louder. Such is the way most young women handle sexual issues-shyly.

Miss Olivia, the pioneer of marriage counseling in the catholic church, Kampala Archdiocese, understood the weight of this question and agreed to see me. She has been married for 25 years, and a counselor for 15 years says that people think that to enjoy ‘good morning lung tonic’-a term she coined to refer to sex – is the preserve of men. They are wrong, it should go both ways, she emphasizes.

‘’A man should improvise to see that the woman enjoys sex if all is to be well in the house,’’. A happy marriage creates happy children and a happy home.  Before you start relating intimately, you should have talked about how many children you want, who will buy what in your home, how many times you want sex a week. 

She added that love is very important in a marriage relationship. When you love each other, you can have sex anytime, anywhere not necessarily between the sheets. It can be in the kitchen, sitting room, bathroom, the floor etc. When you love each other you will not be afraid of saying I love you as often as you can. Saying this often sets the mood for sex.

Communicate to each other. Through communication, you learn to share. Talk about sex styles, read about them. This takes away the monotony of eating the same thing prepared the old way.

How to ensure a steady sex life:

·         Forgive each other as many times as possible. When you are unforgiving, you will be unsettled and it is a way to break your relationship.

·         Respect each other in all ways and all the time. Respect however, does not mean fear.

·         Pray together. Pray for each other before going into bed. We can go through our troubles when we pray.

·         Be involved and committed to the business at hand. Do not go to your bed thinking about your job. Top on agenda should be satisfying each other.

·         Greet each other while still in bed each morning. Before you jump out of the bed, always pray, then have some ‘good morning lung tonic,’ it will start off your day right, leaving you charming and less irritable.

·         Do something crazy for your partner. E.g. strip for each other. Men are aroused by seeing, so walk naked in your bedroom with the lights on, apply your skin moisturizer while naked, wear arousing nightwear to fuel the mood.

·         Watch a love movie together.Once in a while especially at weekends   where you can have quality time together and are not rushing for work. 

      Call each other in the day so you prepare for each other. 

      Build up the mood by taking water for him to the bathroom and close the door when both of you are inside.

·         Know where your bed-wear is (tissue, sex towels) so that you are ready all the time.