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How to prevent divorce

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Divorce can be prevented because it is not good. Psychotherapists and medics have put the following preventive measures in place for us. Please read them!
Resolution of conflicts: To overcome the array of conflicts which necessarily arise out of living together, it is necessary to be well prepared in conflict resolution skills.
 
Constant verbal exchange: A lack verbal exchange and effective communication is a very subtle, pernicious problem in married life. Regular conversation, from the most inconsequential to the most intimate, is imperative. This activity strengthens trust, friendship and loving bonds.
 
Share authority and duties: An authoritarian attitude on the part of one or both of the spouses may trigger a crisis. In a relationship founded on love the greater part of one’s happiness is found in making a loved one happy. It is therefore necessary to share the different duties incumbent in living as a couple or a family and reaching agreements which please both partners concerning the distribution of these responsibilities.
 
Do not think marriage is a fairy tale: Spouses should never expect a perfect relationship which fully satisfies them in all aspects. It they think like this their disappointment and dissatisfaction will be such that they want to separate. Both have to think that a happy marriage is only achieved with a good measure of endeavor and sacrifice on both parts. And even with good will on both parts, the relationship will go through some frustrating moments.
Keep your sex life alive: Sexual dissatisfaction, as may be one reason for seeking other options which may destroy a marriage. This aspect should not be neglected at any time during a relationship.
 
Loving and romantic feelings: A relationship full of romantic touches and loving words and gestures is fundamental for keeping the flame of love burning. This is of special significance to the women. It is therefore of utmost importance not to fall into a routine of not expressing love for each other.
                                          Learn to forgive
In every couple’s relationship there always has to be room for forgiveness, a highly gratifying experience both for the person granting and the one receiving. When one spouse deeply hurts the other a significant disturbance is produced in the relationship. Dr. Mario Pereyra proposed for stages of forgiveness; if followed, they can heal you.
 
Making oneself morally conscious; - To start the process of forgiveness, the offender has to recognize his or her offending attitude or behavior. E.g. a husband who has been unfaithful to his wife cannot enjoy her forgiveness unless he is fully convinced of the immorality of his conduct. Without taking this initial step he will be unable to begin any rehabilitating experience.
 
Decision; - once in a state of moral awareness, the individual may choose from several alternative ways out of his/her situation. It is a crossroads: “I have hurt and am truly repentant. What should I do? Should I confess and ask for forgiveness, or cover up the offense and live alone with my guilt?” the first option is the healthiest for the second leads to serious mental health problems, apart from the progressive deterioration in the relationship.
 
Asking for forgiveness; - steps 1 and 2 are full of serious internal tension and turmoil within the offender’s conscience. But once the decision in favour for forgiveness and reconciliation is taken, and then action follows. To explicitly confess, ask for forgiveness, acknowledge one’s mistake all face to face. When this is a genuine act, it tends to promote a magnanimous reaction in the spouse, making it easier for him or her to grant forgiveness.
 
Beyond forgiveness;- after receiving forgiveness the offender needs to repair the damage done, i.e. do everything in his/her power to bring about a full restoration. Forgiving involves a real “forgetting” of the past on part of the aggrieved party together with the firm resolution by the offender not to recur in the mistake.

However, I warn you my friends that  especially in cases of constant abuse, or reiterated adultery, the process may not work. Where there is genuine repentance forgiveness is always secured but it becomes a routine forgiveness get very difficult.

1 comments:

Kate said...

Thanks so much for such a great piece of advice! Preventing a divorce is always easier than getting one. In addition to the emotional turmoil a divorce can cause in a person’s life, it can also cause a lot of financial upheaval. In case you are searching for any information as to the financial aspects of the divorce process, I advise you to carefully study this article in order to plan your divorce budget properly.

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