Stability in marriages case studies 6 and 7

Case study six
I met a lady who told me this scenario. Am not being tribalistic but it was so. She got married to a Mugisu man from the Eastern part of Uganda called Mbale. They lived together for some time and got children.

 One time the lady chose to take a bank loan to buy a motorcycle to boost her income. On buying it, the husband took it up, he found a cyclist to ride it and he was the one who collected the money from the cyclist. The man didn’t  present the money to the wife who was paying the bank loan.

 Problems arose from here; the owner was denied ownership, so she had double sorrow. In the end the husband even took it away from the cyclist and chose to be riding on it for his own purposes. He didn’t respect his wife, and surely they separated, their marriage is no more.

Note: Can a woman own anything in your culture? Does she deserve any respect?

Stability of marriages case study 5

I have been told of a lady from Arua in Uganda, her names withheld. At 17 years of age she got married to a certain man in Arua.  She got married to a man who was previously married, but the woman had left. The earlier woman had left a girl child behind.

On discovering that the man had gotten a new wife, the former wife started to come time and again after the man was gone for work to threaten the new one to live her husband and that if she refused she would do something very terrible that she wouldn’t forget for the rest of her life.

 With those threats she also devised a plan to hurt the former lady that also does not forget her. One day she chose to go to the school where this small girl was attending her nursery school. She officially asked for the girl from the authorities. The girl was asked by the head teacher if she knew her and she replied yes, because she said she was her auntie and they stayed together at home.

On getting home, she toughened so much onto the little girl. When the girl went to the toilet the lady followed her, hit her with hoe on the head that the girl went through the pit hole and died there.
The husband on returning home in the evening asked his wife where the girl was. She replied, that hopefully at school, may be they had activities there. The man said it was impossible for nursery children to be at school at that hour of the day. As a responsible parent, he immediately got into the road to school.

 At the school he met one of the teachers to whom he relayed his concern. The teacher reported that all children had been sent home as usual, but took the parent to the Head teacher. The head teacher informed him that the girl had been picked from school by a woman who he described and the man came to understand that it was the wife at home.

Stability of marriages case studies 1,2,3 and 4

In the current situation, many marriages are not that stable, they are at stake, and they are breaking. Let me say they are broken even when people sleep in the same house.
Let’s look at these case studies
 
Case study one
 A workmate was doing internship for his course at a certain place. There he met a beautiful lady and in a short while they talked, agreed, and chose to stay together. Within a few days the lady was pregnant. They hurriedly went to visit the parents to avoid embarrassment. They got a child and for some time they have since lived together. The lady then, worked for an organization which paid her very little money. One time an advert ran in news papers, and the husband read it. He knew some of the members on the committee, so he influenced them to see his wife get the job. Of course she was qualified and she got the job. The job is indeed well paying, the lady really is getting a good pay. The life style has also changed accordingly. Her income is much higher than that of the husband.  While together, the man lost his job and stayed jobless for four months so in this time the lady supported the home. By the time of writing this message, he had gotten another job; actually he had just received his first salary. However, it is the same time that the lady was complaining that this man does not care for her. She has stopped cooking at home, when the husband cooks she pours the food he left.  One day she said `` a kilo of sugar would take us a month if I was only living with my son’’. She has hired motorcyclist to carry her wherever she may want to go and the son but the husband has to foot.
Another day in presence of a visitor she said ``these days it is the men to leave not the women, they can pick out their small chairs, cupboards and clothes’’. This she did after buying a nice set of chairs and a glass table into the house.
What is your view, should financial power break our marriages?

The desire for marriage

As we grow from infancy into adulthood the hormones within our bodies generate in us a desire to have an opposite sex around us.

These hormones cause the development of secondary sexual characteristics.

In females these characteristics include;-

1.        Development of hips
2.       Development of mammary glands (breasts)
3.        Development of a sharp voice
4.        Growth of pubic hair and under the armpits.
5.        Enlargement of the sexual organs

In the males the following changes occur;-

1.        Development of muscles
2.        Enlargement of the sexual organ
3.       Development of hair around the pubis, face, chest, and under armpits.
4.        Development of a heavy voice.

In schools it is always a tag of war to separate those children that have gotten attracted to each other and are trying to pair up. They promise great things to each other, so the one who warns them against their actions looks to be an enemy.

Even in homes it is always a hard time for the parents when children get to adolescent age.

The children thus are looking for that opportunity, when they will have freedom to lead their way.

There is in many cases a lot of messing up when these children get to tertiary institutions. As a result of the freedom granted them in those schools, they try to practice what they have missed under the restrictions of parents and teachers and other authorities. Are you part of them?  Have you seen any of them? Are the results the best?

RELATIONSHIPS

John, the chief accountant in advance Uganda one day had a talk to youths. And he stressed the following points concerning our relationships. The individual should exercise;-

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead the life of your family( husband, wife and children)
2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father/ wife and mother.
3. Economic maturity, to hold an adult job and money. Be employable.
4. Physical maturity, sufficient to work and protect your family.