ANGER IN MRRRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Anger in Marriage and relationships

Feelings of anger are inevitable in marriage when two people have decided to live together sharing their lives. People give up their separateness and join in interdependence. The way a married couple handles angering situations will determine their success and happiness. 

Anger is a normal human emotion and it is much part of us. It is the natural emotional response to frustration and uncertainty conveying a message telling us that something is wrong. Anger is a not so much an attack as it is a cry for help and love. This cry needs to be met as soon as it is noticed and for the relationship to be restored. When couples get angry they are basically saying that they love the other person too much to let the frustration the relationship.  The opposite of love is not anger, but apathy and disinterest.  Couples should handle the symptoms of anger to keep their love burning.

 What do you do with anger in Marriage?

As an emotion, anger is normal, but solving it needs a proper channel. If not controlled it is destructive, yet if well handled, it becomes a means of generating the energy for something positive. Don’t ignore it, handle it.

Uncontrolled anger: there are people who deny responsibility of the things they do. They say, I’ve got a hot temper; I can’t help it..; that is me; that is the way I am; this kind of people avoid responsibility for anger and its results when they express hostile emotions.

Over controlled anger; some people feel that anger should always be suppressed. They choose to even smile over anger denying its presence. We shouldn’t deny anger because it is a reality and we become untrue to ourselves. Accepting anger shows others that we are sensitive, especially to our spouses. The feelings of anger must be recognized and be dealt with in a positive manner. When you over-control your anger it will express itself in physical pains and body aches. It comes back to you; it is your responsibility to resolve it.

How do you resolve anger?

We can resolve anger if we are willing to confess our wrongs to each other. We shouldn’t deny the responsibility for our mistakes. We need not to condemn or attack the other person if we are to settle and resolve the crisis. We talk, we negotiate. Such a manner restores love and mutual co-operation in the married.

When you refuse to solve angering circumstances and you disguise as if things have not happened, the anger will be directed  towards family members in ways such as avoiding responsibility, thoughtlessness, rejection, unfaithfulness and neglect which bring tears in homes. 

Appeal; having known that anger is normal, but carrying with it serious effects if not cleared, let us then handle it before it brings damages to our marriages. Our relationships need that sweet flavor to keep healthy. When there is no happiness at home you will not find peace anywhere. We cannot bury our emotions dead- they are always buried alive!