COMMUNICATION THE HINGE FOR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS

Communication is the act of transferring information from one place to another. It may be Spoken or Verbal Communication: face-to-face, telephone, radio, television or other media; Non-Verbal by body language, gestures, dress, action or scent; or written in letters, e-mails, books, magazines, the Internet or other media. Regardless of the type, the desired outcome or goal of any communication process is understanding. The participants have to negotiate their role in this process, whether consciously or unconsciously.

In the face-to-face communication the roles of the sender and receiver are not distinct as both parties communicate with each other, eye-contact, and general body language voice tone give clues to our mood or emotional state. Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills.

First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds. Stephen Covey wrote that we have response ability. You may feel it's okay to strike at someone verbally because, "He is picking a fight with me." You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." You can be turn anger into a better situation if you properly season your words. Your wife's sin does not give you free license to sin in return.   With this principle of first response, we can redirect a poorly spoken comment

 Physical Touch: It is difficult to fight someone while you are tenderly touching him or her. It is a difficult time to do this after an argument has begun. However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension. In tough conversations sit down, pray together and touch. You may hold hands or sitting close enough, so that you naturally touch. It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. In such a way you have choice : to stop fighting so you keep touching or to stop touching  that you keep fighting. Touching reduces sharp arguments.

Timing: The success of a conversation requires appropriate timing. King Solomon, in Proverbs15:23 wrote that, "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!"May be at the dinner table, but if you have young children, the dinner table won’t do. There will be no effectiveness. Communication will fail if she is watching her favorite movie or when he is watching his football team match. It won’t work at 12:00pm when she is so tired in bed mood. However, there are times when a conversation is critical to have at that very moment. In those cases, of course, the football game goes off and we talk. Or, the lights go back on and we're up until 3 a.m. However, those should be the exceptions rather than the rule. The majority of the time, we should be more strategic in the timing of our conversations.

Mirroring:

Understanding what someone is saying is important in communication. You sometimes may need to repeat what they have said to get their meaning correctly. That is mirroring."Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge (Proverbs 22:17."Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make very frustrating communication. Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your spouse properly. Once your spouse makes a point, repeat it to him or her. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you've said. When your spouse has not got your point right, mirroring will indicate it, and you will explain accurately. In communication we seek to understand and then to be understood.

Prayer: Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide. This is not complicated, but it requires our special attention. No matter what the scenario is, prayer helps. When we pray, we communicate well. Involving God will take away pride or will generate humility in us. If you have not been praying, begin slowly. Say, with 30 seconds of prayer as you go to bed each night, pray regularly as a family prior to eating, pick one night a week to pray for your marriage. I assure you, you will improve your communication at home.

Put those five ideas in your marriage, you will succeed.