What wives wish their husbands knew about women ! (part1)

In a research conducted by James Dobson, on young women in the ages of 27-40 years, it was revealed that the leading causes of depression among married women: low self-esteem, fatigue, loneliness, and an absence of romantic love.

The women said that the leading in descending order are: absence of romantic love in marriage; in-law conflict; Low self-esteem; problems with the children; financial difficulties; loneliness, isolation and boredom; sexual problems in marriage; menstrual and physiological problems; fatigue and time pressure; and ageing.

The four most frequently- named causes of depression by women he surveyed were: Low self-esteem; Fatigue and time pressure; Loneliness, isolation and boredom; and absence of romantic love in marriage.

What wives wish their husbands knew about women! (part 3)

Care for your Spouse:

Human beings particularly women tolerate stresses and pressures much more easily if at least one other person knows they are enduring it.

The frustrations of raising small children and handling household duties would be much more manageable if husbands acted as it they comprehended it all. Even if a man does nothing to change the situation, simply his awareness that his wife did an admirable job today will make it easier for her to repeat the assignment tomorrow.

Instead, the opposite usually occurs. Millions of husbands will stumble into the same unforgivable questions tonight: “what did you do all day dear?” This very nature of the question implies that the ‘little woman’ has been sitting around watching television since arising at noon!

Everyone needs to know that he/she is respected for the way he or she meets responsibilities. Husbands get this emotional nurture through job promotion, pay rises, and incidental praise during the work day. Women at home get it from their husbands-if they get it at all. The most unhappy wives and mothers are often those who try to handle their fatigue and time pressure in solitude, and their men are never sure why they act so tired.

Husbands and wives should constantly guard against the scourge of over commitment. Even worthwhile and enjoyable activities become damaging when they consume the remaining free moments of the day. 

What wives wish their husbands knew about women! (Part 2)

 Fatigue and time pressure.

The second most depressing irritant in marriage according to the poll conducted by James Dobson is Fatigue and time pressure.

Frequently our heads do spin and whirl with the obligations of the impossible to do lists we have.  We say, I must get the bills paid this morning and the shopping cannot wait another day. And my children! I’ve had so little time to be with them lately that we hardly seem like a family any more. May be I can read them a story to night. And we really should be taking more time for our spiritual lives. That’s one area we cannot afford to neglect.

Balancing business and relationships

Relationships are never easy, but being an entrepreneur presents a unique set of challenges when it comes to balancing the demands of work and with the needs of a romantic partner. After entrepreneurial drive nearly broke up their seven year marriage, Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor overcame the challenges and wrote a book about their experience. Startup life: surviving and thriving in a relationship with an entrepreneur (Wiley, 2013) explores the difficulties entrepreneurs and their spouses face when balancing the demands of work and romance.

“The passion, excitement, and commitment that the entrepreneur has to work are the same qualities that will bring to the relation, which seems like an advantage; but enthusiasm unbounded leads to exhaustion in both work and relationship context,” says Feld. Take these steps to improve both your business and relationship success.

Schedule together time: Feld says setting priorities and making schedule changes to accommodate the needs of your relationship can help strengthen your bond. Feld, a managing director at Foundry Group never schedules high priority activities or deadlines on a Friday, as doing so is likely to create a scenario where work drifts into Friday night and even the weekend. Feld and Batchelor are also strong proponents of family “life dinners” where they go out of the house to talk about the past month while setting goals for the next month. “Having a scheduled time together on the calendar can give you both something to look forward to,” says Feld.

Reasons for marriage

Going into marriage is a choice people usually make. Every people have their own reasons for this decision. Dr. Kevin.H and others in the book Family matter; a guide to family life, gave a list of  reasons for getting married.

Any combination of the following reasons may be given for marriage:

• We are madly in love.
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• I want a home and a family of my own.
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• I find my companion sexually attractive.
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• I want to get away from my parents.
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• We share similar interests and tastes.

The laws of love

Balance; the first law of love

There is no pure formula for a love relationship. Every relationship will have its own unique mix and balance of motives and style of love. A balance in love styles involves an awareness of emotions and needs and a commitment to learning how best to express and fulfill them in order to express one’s deepest appreciation and affection for the other.

Elements for each style of love serve a helpful purpose. Romantic love idealizes the other, affirming each other’s strengths. Mutual dependency reminds each other of the commitment to fulfill the other’s needs. Friendships love ensures an enduring bond on which love may grow. Egoistic love suggests a pride in knowing that each belongs to the other. Altruistic concern offers an active, caring ingredient to a relationship. However, when a couple’s relationship is stuck in only one or two styles of love the relationship becomes unbalanced and real needs which are met by the other styles of love go unfulfilled.