MAKING A STRONG MARRIAGE

WHAT MAKES A STRONG MARRIAGE?

NICK Stinnett found six qualities which are useful in making happy and stable marriages. When they lacked in certain homes, the couples divorced.

Appreciation: spouses have high expectations of being appreciated.  This has to be done regularly and frequently. They need affection, praising and encouragement.  In doing this the self-esteem of your partner goes high and feels the worth of being a member in that family. Marriage partners complain of falling out of love- most often it is not so, they have simply stopped affirming each other and take themselves for granted.  Communication of sincere appreciation is the barometer of a happy marriage.

 Spending time together:  Those who are happily married tend to make opportunities to be together. They sit together for meals, enjoy recreation activities together and participate in family issues together.  Marriage like any other business requires work and time to grow. Growth requires nurturing which is done over time. One of the biggest enemies to togetherness is commitment. Commit yourselves to nurture your selves. We can’t overlook the priority of friendship. We know that work, meetings, sports, hobbies, study, and clubs demand a lot of our time but we must squeeze time for our marriages, our relationships.

Commitment: those who are happy have committed themselves for the well-being of the other. Many marital are a result of this frustrated cry of: ‘meet my needs’. The committed know this cry and they move in to meet the needs of their spouse. The happy ones find joy in giving than receiving. The two must give themselves in for the other.

Ability to deal with crises: marriage is never easy. Conflicts do come in anytime. Friction is there. In time of crisis, happy couples support each other to go through, finding ways to negotiate until they come to agreement. Couples that show a healthy approach to crisis are open with their disagreements and try to solve their differences using effective communication skills.

Good communication patterns: Blood is to life and communication is to love. We have to learn communication. It needs openness, where we share our inner and true selves. You have to be brave to open up. You have to be honest. Without being true, one day your lies will be discovered and the results are dangerous.

High degree of spirituality:  religion is one of the most sources of strength for individuals. So it is for couples and families. Couples with a similar faith find it easy to solve their differences because they share similar value and a sense of purpose in life. A common faith is a binding force and sense of strength resulting in a sustained and more fulfilling love relationship. The husband and wife need a fulfilling spiritual intimacy.

In summary the two who make a marriage should: appreciate each other; spend time together; commit themselves to love; communicate well; deal with their crises; and work on their levels of spirituality.

Food for thought: How is it in your house!