The love you promise to your spouse should be genuine
Commitment to love: many couples promise their undying love
at the altar and yet in a few years their love turns sour. Where does the
promise of affection, excitement, happiness and romance go? When we hear or see
divorce taking place, we understand that the promises were inadequate.
Have you seen someone clinging on another claiming that they
love them? There is real confusion as to how to distinguish erotic infatuation
from genuine lasting love.
A lot of confusion originates in the learning of faulty
attitudes. Many people confuse sex with love. Friend, the two are different. To
this kind of people the main motif for marriage is sexual. If anything goes
wrong they justify divorce on the ground that the passion has gone out of the
relationship or when they have gotten a more sexually attractive alternative.
Love may begin with sex appeal and whereas physical
attraction is very crucial for total intimacy, it is not the total sum of what
love is. Sex and the desire for sex are natural and biological. However, in
going for marriage, human beings crave for warmth and closeness of a loving
relationship.
Meaningful love, genuine love, rich love, rewarding love,
must be grounded on a multiplicity of factors in the two individuals. If cannot
be based on something which involves only a fraction of the time they have to
spend together.
People have many views about love including these: love is
blind; love comes at first sight; love conquers all and separation makes the
heart grow fonder. These views may not hold all the time. We need to reason.
There are people who have irresistible statures that everyone would have liked
them, yet in character you cannot desire to stay with them even for an hour.
As we move on streets in towns and cities, in the evening
hours of the day and in the nights, many beautiful women with irresistible
forms of body shapes that are eye catching are found to be staged for sex
buyers. If we go with the statements like love is blind, don’t you think we
step in burning coals!!
Our love and commitment to the loving partners needs to grow
as they stay together. The success-fulness of a marital relationship is not
dependent on the conflicts the couple faces in life but the degree of
commitment to work through these conflicts successfully which make or breaks
the marriage.
Mates in marriages that have failed, see their spouses as
they expect them to be, rather than they really are and treat them accordingly
(Virginia Satir). The married need the
capacity to adjust to the changing needs in their relationship.
Human love calls for flexibility, commitment to
communicating and meeting/facing new demands/needs as they happen to arise.Let us therefore devote our time to think on things that
work for healthy relationships. No one can be successful in the things we don’t
know. Let us take serious study on the topic of love so that we don’t misuse
it.
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