Family instabilities

It is every one’s desire to make a stable and peaceful family. In fact when things have fallen apart elsewhere, our utmost desire would be getting rest at home.In our dreams we imagine an ideal home, where all issues are handled amicably; when mum and dad are at peace, and in agreement in matters at home. In the same way, when such peace is present at home, the children find joy to stay.Unfortunately, this kind of environment is no more in most of our homes. Different circumstances have brought disorganization and disharmony in our homes.

This time the environment got sour because of a pregnancy that one of the most loved children begot. It is said that in this home, there was a lot of love between the parents themselves and their children too. One of the girls was much more loved by her father and on several occasion he even moved with her.

This girl attended school and her performance was always pleasing to the parents. She was in her vacation after finishing high school and waiting to join university.  In this vacation is when she got the pregnancy.

 On realizing her condition, the father became very bitter about it. He punished the girl bitterly to tell who was responsible for her pregnancy but she refused to reveal the person. The mother also added but still the girl kept silent. The father changed his behavior toward everyone at home. He chose to send the girl away from home and threw her properties out of the house. The mother however, called her back home.

When she did that, the father turned to her also saying that it seems the mother had connived with her daughter to hide the truth from him. He tells them daily to live and go away. He is very moody and tough to everyone. He is rough to all the others; there is not any love at home.

The pregnant girl now does not talk to anybody at home. She only moves out to wash her clothes, go for a bath or visit the toilet. She eats food when you provide and when you don’t she will not tell you anything.

I learnt of this scenario when some of the children in this home wrote a letter to a radio station, requesting the listeners to help give advice about the worsening home environment.

In my observation, I have seen girls getting pregnancies because of stubbornness and misbehavior. However, in other instances some of the pregnancies are not intended. They may be a result of forced sex from friends, parents, uncles, relatives or rape. For this one’s case none of us knows, because she is still silent.

The other point I want to raise goes to children. As children, we need to understand that we desperately injure our parents when we do not fulfill their expectations. All their efforts are geared toward our well being. We thus need to be careful not to hurt them like she did. Let us do our honest part at home as children.

The listeners in response all requested the father to forgive his daughter and to work hard to rebuild the broken pieces of house into a whole one as it was before.

Food for thought: we should all know it that it is those who we love most that are likely to hurt us most.  We need to reserve room for disappointing situations so that we don’t get utterly defeated.

Stephen Covey, in the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote that we have response ability; we can choose our response toward any situations. We can’t blame anyone for our responses. So think before you act!!