Love and social relationships need a strong character foundation

Your character is the foundation of the kind of relationship you have between you and others. Stop telling people that I am like that; that’s me and so on. People who have learnt effectiveness know it that they have to control situations but not the situations to control them.

Relationships that work are based on a strong foundation of character. When we start a relationship we need to build it and maintain it. Without trust the best we can do is to compromise; without trust, we lack the credibility for open, mutual learning and communication and real reactivity.

But if our emotional account is high, credibility is no longer an issue. Enough deposits have been made so that you know that we deeply respect each other. We are focused on the issues, not on personalities or positions.

Because we trust each other, we are open. We put our cards on table and deliberate on them. Even when we see things differently, I know that you are willing to listen with respect. Both of us are committed to try to understand each other,s point of view deeply and to work together for a better alternative that will be a better answer for both of us.

In a relationship where the level of trust is very high, and both parties are deeply committed to each other they work toward finding a better solution to solve their challenges. A relationship of such a nature neither makes the issues less real or important, nor eliminates the differences in perspective.

People who are not effective focus on the negative energies, on differences in personality and position to work on their problems. This however does not work and cannot yield good results in life.

To have good relationships you must create a positive, cooperative energy focused on thorough understanding of issues and resolving them in a mutually beneficial way. This however, only works when the two parties are aware of and are committed to the relationship.

You build trust and good emotional deposits in someone, through genuine courtesy, respect and appreciation for that person and for the other point of view. You have to stay longer in communication process. You must listen more, you listen in greater depth. A human being is meant to be proactive; one who can control situations but not driven by the winds that blow us.

Healthy relationships need coming to agreements when we sit to discuss issues. However, agreements mean very little in letter without the character and relationship base to sustain it in our spirit. So we need a genuine desire to invest in the relationships.

The productive interactions between men and women, husbands and wives, need interdependence between them. Interdependence puts it that, each of us has means to survive on his or her own; but what one cannot do, another person can do. And if we put our means and energies together we accomplish much.

In the cultivation of healthy relationships both social or marital no one is more important than the other but both of us are party and can equally contribute to the well being of our well being. Sometimes women have been called mere women. In that case we marginalize them which shouldn’t the case.

My appeal to you my reader is to check yourself; work on your character to make it acceptable; so that the trust that results from it will rise beyond limits.