Relationships and Marriages should be started at the right time!

Remember how you started your relationship; do you think it was the right time? The enjoyment you anticipate in a relationship may not be if you do not start it well. Young children should wait for physical, social, spiritual and economic maturity before they venture into marriage.

Let me use this scenario to explain my point to you dear reader: in my primary school we were mixed both girls and boys. Some boys and girls were of big size than many of us who we short and tiny.

In class seven the last class at primary level in my country, I attended with a fairy big girl by the names of Teopista. The two of us came from same village and in primary seven (P.7) we joined the boarding section to have more time to read seriously so that we pass our finals well.

 On certain weekends, the school allowed us to go home to get personal effects. So Teopista would go home on Friday evenings and reported back to school on Sundays. Certain boys on the village started befriending her and offered simple gifts. With those gifts and money her class seemed to have risen higher than that of the other girls.

We sat for the final national examinations at the end of the year and then took our vacation. During that period Teopista had more time with the village boys. A lot went on. At the end of the vacation period, our results were released. I had passed in grade two (2), she had passed in grade four (4).
We enrolled into secondary schools. I went to a mixed secondary school; she went to a single sex school for only girls. Her school was far from home and she was in boarding section. However, on several occasions she came back home. Her father had passed on (died) years back and it was her aunt a nun who sponsored her secondary education.

At the end of year one in secondary, her report had a comment that she had to repeat the class the following year for she had gotten very poor grades. As usual she came back for holidays but mother didn’t know what the report read for she never attended school to learn how to read.

The following year as all of us prepared to report back to school, she also made similar arrangements. She went to school and sat in S.2 as the other children did. The teachers allowed her in class until the senior one (S.1) class for that year reported. She was told to go to the class where she belonged.

 Looking at her size, she said she couldn’t go back. She was given two options by the administration; either to repeat or to leave and go back home. She chose to go back home. In a few days she made arrangements to escape from home to go to her man’s house. She carried everything she had from home and took it to the man’s house.

When she had come for her last lot of property, her mum saw her. The mum called for my mother to talk to the girl. They talked until 1:00am in the night, but she didn’t listen anyway. The next day she escaped and went but didn’t reveal who the husband was. For a full week nobody knew where she was.

Time passed and she was discovered but refused to go back home. The husband started putting on her school clothes. We are told that for the period they spent together, the husband didn’t buy her any decent clothes. He was by the way married to another woman on another village.

The two co-wives had it rough with each other. The man failed to provide, their marriage broke up but she had to go with three (3) children. She tried hiring a small room where she lived with her children. One day I found her walking bare footed, she asked me for money to buy sugar for her children.

That time she was working with a flower growing company which paid them very little money that wasn’t sufficient to meet their household needs.  She lost the beauty she had and when you see her today you may not admire.

That is why this time I have chosen to sound a loud warning to my friends the youths, to be extra careful about their lives. Every good thing people enjoy is meant to be planned for. Teopista who is in her early 30s looks very old than her age.

Teopista lost it in so many ways: she missed school, she left home without her mother’s blessing, she didn’t get a happy marriage, and today she has to struggle with casual labor to meet her needs. She lives a sorry state now!!
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