What wives wish their husbands knew about women ! (part1)

In a research conducted by James Dobson, on young women in the ages of 27-40 years, it was revealed that the leading causes of depression among married women: low self-esteem, fatigue, loneliness, and an absence of romantic love.

The women said that the leading in descending order are: absence of romantic love in marriage; in-law conflict; Low self-esteem; problems with the children; financial difficulties; loneliness, isolation and boredom; sexual problems in marriage; menstrual and physiological problems; fatigue and time pressure; and ageing.

The four most frequently- named causes of depression by women he surveyed were: Low self-esteem; Fatigue and time pressure; Loneliness, isolation and boredom; and absence of romantic love in marriage.

What wives wish their husbands knew about women! (part 3)

Care for your Spouse:

Human beings particularly women tolerate stresses and pressures much more easily if at least one other person knows they are enduring it.

The frustrations of raising small children and handling household duties would be much more manageable if husbands acted as it they comprehended it all. Even if a man does nothing to change the situation, simply his awareness that his wife did an admirable job today will make it easier for her to repeat the assignment tomorrow.

Instead, the opposite usually occurs. Millions of husbands will stumble into the same unforgivable questions tonight: “what did you do all day dear?” This very nature of the question implies that the ‘little woman’ has been sitting around watching television since arising at noon!

Everyone needs to know that he/she is respected for the way he or she meets responsibilities. Husbands get this emotional nurture through job promotion, pay rises, and incidental praise during the work day. Women at home get it from their husbands-if they get it at all. The most unhappy wives and mothers are often those who try to handle their fatigue and time pressure in solitude, and their men are never sure why they act so tired.

Husbands and wives should constantly guard against the scourge of over commitment. Even worthwhile and enjoyable activities become damaging when they consume the remaining free moments of the day. 

What wives wish their husbands knew about women! (Part 2)

 Fatigue and time pressure.

The second most depressing irritant in marriage according to the poll conducted by James Dobson is Fatigue and time pressure.

Frequently our heads do spin and whirl with the obligations of the impossible to do lists we have.  We say, I must get the bills paid this morning and the shopping cannot wait another day. And my children! I’ve had so little time to be with them lately that we hardly seem like a family any more. May be I can read them a story to night. And we really should be taking more time for our spiritual lives. That’s one area we cannot afford to neglect.

Balancing business and relationships

Relationships are never easy, but being an entrepreneur presents a unique set of challenges when it comes to balancing the demands of work and with the needs of a romantic partner. After entrepreneurial drive nearly broke up their seven year marriage, Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor overcame the challenges and wrote a book about their experience. Startup life: surviving and thriving in a relationship with an entrepreneur (Wiley, 2013) explores the difficulties entrepreneurs and their spouses face when balancing the demands of work and romance.

“The passion, excitement, and commitment that the entrepreneur has to work are the same qualities that will bring to the relation, which seems like an advantage; but enthusiasm unbounded leads to exhaustion in both work and relationship context,” says Feld. Take these steps to improve both your business and relationship success.

Schedule together time: Feld says setting priorities and making schedule changes to accommodate the needs of your relationship can help strengthen your bond. Feld, a managing director at Foundry Group never schedules high priority activities or deadlines on a Friday, as doing so is likely to create a scenario where work drifts into Friday night and even the weekend. Feld and Batchelor are also strong proponents of family “life dinners” where they go out of the house to talk about the past month while setting goals for the next month. “Having a scheduled time together on the calendar can give you both something to look forward to,” says Feld.

Reasons for marriage

Going into marriage is a choice people usually make. Every people have their own reasons for this decision. Dr. Kevin.H and others in the book Family matter; a guide to family life, gave a list of  reasons for getting married.

Any combination of the following reasons may be given for marriage:

• We are madly in love.
•  
• I want a home and a family of my own.
•  
• I find my companion sexually attractive.
•  
• I want to get away from my parents.
•  
• We share similar interests and tastes.

The laws of love

Balance; the first law of love

There is no pure formula for a love relationship. Every relationship will have its own unique mix and balance of motives and style of love. A balance in love styles involves an awareness of emotions and needs and a commitment to learning how best to express and fulfill them in order to express one’s deepest appreciation and affection for the other.

Elements for each style of love serve a helpful purpose. Romantic love idealizes the other, affirming each other’s strengths. Mutual dependency reminds each other of the commitment to fulfill the other’s needs. Friendships love ensures an enduring bond on which love may grow. Egoistic love suggests a pride in knowing that each belongs to the other. Altruistic concern offers an active, caring ingredient to a relationship. However, when a couple’s relationship is stuck in only one or two styles of love the relationship becomes unbalanced and real needs which are met by the other styles of love go unfulfilled.

Lessons on marriage!

Marriage lessons from Kenya

When I was in Nairobi recently, I learnt a few lessons from the Kenyans. The first lesson was that it is not enough to build a house, because someone else will do anything possible to grab it from you including your life. So they not only invest in perimeter was with barbed mesh but they also install an electric fence and guard! Unfortunately, due to power outages and human error, security is not always tight!

Second lesson was that a padlock on your door is not enough to keep out burglars, thanks to the increasing number of blacksmiths, any key can be duplicated. So some people add a backup called a deadlock. I wish I draw a correlation between the above security scenarios and marriage:

So you come across this gorgeous girl, intone your charm, propose marriage to her and walk down the aisle. But then there is some big snag; there’s no guarantee that what attracted you to her, may not attract other men. 

In fact, it appears that some unscrupulous characters prey on married women because of “guaranteed security”! I know of some men who insist that their wives stay at home for fear that when they go to work they could fall prey! In so doing, they end up infringing on the rights of the women they claim to love so much, while themselves are entirely exposed to the insecurity in the world.

A Love So Sweet!

A “love so sweet”, the desire of man!

Gone are days when we used to love with our hearts, care for the loved ones as though caring for a precious stone which would break any time. There are days when I thought love was the best thing on earth and the best treasure that God ever gave to man. When I look at my grandparents, I just keep on wondering how far they have come and how they trekked together through the thick and thin times, for they never stopped looking lovingly at one another or ever caring for each other.

A “love so sweet” it was when I was with him feeling like it’s the end of it all and believing that my heart had found the best of its kind; a love full of comfort, peace, joy, happiness, laughter, and   most of all love. That sweet love that he blessed my life with made to believe that I had earned my precious gift from the heavens. There are times we argued like any lovers do but this too never tore us apart. My life, changed for the better with his love.

He married a pregnant woman! Relationship matters

She married a new man while  pregnant!

This comes to you as true story! Read it and draw lessons about relationships.

Sometime ago, there was a lady and gentle man who got interested in each other. Before they made thorough decisions, they started happening together. It was not long from that, that the lady conceived. She informed the man, who chose to run away on receiving the news and was not seen for a number of years from that time.

The pregnancy she carried had twin children, a boy and a girl. With that disappointment from the man, she hooked up with a new man who didn’t know her pregnancy status. With this new man they stayed until she produced. Their culture gives special names to the father and mother of twins. The father is referred to as ‘’Salongo’’ and the mum- ‘’Nalongo’’. The man was so happy to be given the title of Salongo.

Following the twins, she produces other children, now for the new husband and the family moved on fairly well. After eight years had passed, the first man (father to the twins) came back and demanded for his children. He told the woman that he wanted his children in all ways at whatever cost. The woman gathered courage after sometime and informed her husband about it. The Salongo rejected her request and he said he would never give away those children as it would put his name and family to shame.

FUNDAMANTALS FOR LASTING RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGES

Love that will last until old age

Today I bring to you suggestions to help you start your relationships properly so that you do not regret the person you chose for a spouse. It isn’t simply a feeling to stay with a person. There are true principles that you must base on to see your marriages successful.

·         Those who intend marry need to have many interests that they like to do together.

·         They should feel proud to be friends to each other.

·         Should feel the need to apologize for the things they have done wrong.

·         Should suffer from a feeling of unrest when the other is away from them.

·         Should be willing to please your companion, and be quite glad to give way even on your own preference.

CO-WIVES RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN

What is the matter with co-wives?

A story is told of a woman who got married to someone’s husband. As usual the new woman was not welcomed, however, they stayed. The older woman produced a baby, and when one day she was away, the new woman, got the baby, covered the kid in a source pan and cooked him! What followed thereafter was disastrous!

Another story is also told of a woman who involved herself in witchcraft, to bewitch the daughter of a co-wife who had just completed her university degree studies. It is said that the bewitched girl, ran mad up to date. What is wrong with co-wives!

I have personally seen a woman going in for someone’s husband whose wedding she attended in person. Today she has a baby boy and feels very sweet about it because the former woman had not yet got any child. In addition, the husband has devised means to expel and divorce the former woman. The matters are tough.

The secret to great sex in your marriage!

‘’How can a woman enjoy sex?’’  I whispered to the counselor on phone. ‘Please speak louder, I really cannot hear you,’ she said. After turning my head right and left to ensure that no one was listening in, I tried again, this time louder. Such is the way most young women handle sexual issues-shyly.

Miss Olivia, the pioneer of marriage counseling in the catholic church, Kampala Archdiocese, understood the weight of this question and agreed to see me. She has been married for 25 years, and a counselor for 15 years says that people think that to enjoy ‘good morning lung tonic’-a term she coined to refer to sex – is the preserve of men. They are wrong, it should go both ways, she emphasizes.

‘’A man should improvise to see that the woman enjoys sex if all is to be well in the house,’’. A happy marriage creates happy children and a happy home.  Before you start relating intimately, you should have talked about how many children you want, who will buy what in your home, how many times you want sex a week. 

Happy marriages, happy relationships!

Being happy is a desire for every human being. In fact it is a need for human existence. Survival of families, relationships and marriages needs happiness as an ingredient. When happiness is lacking, misery is the immediate counterpart.

Many people have no control over their emotional well-being. They feel ecstatic when good stuff happens and depressed when things go wrong. Their lives are roller coaster rides: sometimes up, sometimes way down.

But what if you could be happy no matter what happens?

You’d stay calm when your car breaks down and your boss shouts at you. You’d stop feeling lonely when there’s no one to talk to on a rainy day. You’d never lose sleep over a relationship that isn’t working out.

If being in command of your emotional state sounds good, take charge of your life with these easy to apply tips.

PROBLEMS OF COHABITING - Relationships and Marriages

PROBLEMS OF COHABITING

Parental disapproval: Despite permissive attitudes in society generally, the older generation still tends to disapprove cohabitation. The women tend to be more concerned about parental disapproval than the men.
Lack of Common Purpose:
 One study found that while college students intend to marry, most do not

‘JUST LIVING TOGETHER’- Relationships and marriage

‘JUST LIVING TOGETHER’
Cohabitation, or ‘Living together’, has become a popular and accepted practice in most countries and cities around the world. In one British study, 8% of the couples admitted to cohabiting before marriage. Such non-traditional family forms are most frequently practiced by the

THE TEST OF LOVE FOR THOSE IN RELATIONSHIPS!

HOW CAN WE KNOW THAT WE ARE IN LOVE

Here are some questions which quickly disclose whether or not one is really in love or whether the relationship is something different. Answer each question truthfully, regardless of what you think is the correct answer or what the other person wants to hear.

1.      YES/NO Do you have many interests that you like to do together?

2.      YES/NO, Do you have a feeling of pride when you compare your friend to any other you have known?

3.      YES/NO, Do you feel you need to apologize for certain things about them?

4.      YES/NO, Do you suffer from a feeling of unrest when away from them?

5.      YES/NO, Have you a strong feeling to please your companion, and are you quite glad to give way on your own preference?

MAKING A STRONG MARRIAGE

WHAT MAKES A STRONG MARRIAGE?

NICK Stinnett found six qualities which are useful in making happy and stable marriages. When they lacked in certain homes, the couples divorced.

Appreciation: spouses have high expectations of being appreciated.  This has to be done regularly and frequently. They need affection, praising and encouragement.  In doing this the self-esteem of your partner goes high and feels the worth of being a member in that family. Marriage partners complain of falling out of love- most often it is not so, they have simply stopped affirming each other and take themselves for granted.  Communication of sincere appreciation is the barometer of a happy marriage.

ANGER IN MRRRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Anger in Marriage and relationships

Feelings of anger are inevitable in marriage when two people have decided to live together sharing their lives. People give up their separateness and join in interdependence. The way a married couple handles angering situations will determine their success and happiness. 

Anger is a normal human emotion and it is much part of us. It is the natural emotional response to frustration and uncertainty conveying a message telling us that something is wrong. Anger is a not so much an attack as it is a cry for help and love. This cry needs to be met as soon as it is noticed and for the relationship to be restored. When couples get angry they are basically saying that they love the other person too much to let the frustration the relationship.  The opposite of love is not anger, but apathy and disinterest.  Couples should handle the symptoms of anger to keep their love burning.

COMMUNICATION THE HINGE FOR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS

Communication is the act of transferring information from one place to another. It may be Spoken or Verbal Communication: face-to-face, telephone, radio, television or other media; Non-Verbal by body language, gestures, dress, action or scent; or written in letters, e-mails, books, magazines, the Internet or other media. Regardless of the type, the desired outcome or goal of any communication process is understanding. The participants have to negotiate their role in this process, whether consciously or unconsciously.

In the face-to-face communication the roles of the sender and receiver are not distinct as both parties communicate with each other, eye-contact, and general body language voice tone give clues to our mood or emotional state. Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills.

First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds. Stephen Covey wrote that we have response ability. You may feel it's okay to strike at someone verbally because, "He is picking a fight with me." You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." You can be turn anger into a better situation if you properly season your words. Your wife's sin does not give you free license to sin in return.   With this principle of first response, we can redirect a poorly spoken comment

HONEYMOON AT HOME CAN BE MEMORABLE

 Most newlyweds are eager to go relax after the many hustles of preparing the wedding day. They bother a lot to find a visa and other travel documents so that they hold a memorable honey moon. However, you can make a memorable honey moon at home. Here is the way to plan a romantic, home based honeymoon! Read on.

Get off line

Just as you wouldn’t spend two weeks in Paris or Zanzibar in an internet café browsing, similarly do not pay attention to the emails and voicemails during your stay at home honey moon. The number one rule to guide you is no cell phones, no computers. Tell the people you will be travelling abroad so they won’t show up at your door.

Order in or eat out

To further make it different from the normal home routine, let someone else do the work of feeding the two of you. Eat out at very meal, order in or prepare a bunch of food ahead of time. If a nearby bed-and-breakfast is within your budget, go there for a night or several.

THE FIVE LOVE ACTS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

Love isn’t simply a talk but action; I feel we should drive through some activities that can revive and bring to life our relationships, particularly the marriages. The following five acts of love that will surely rock your marriage!  If you and your spouse will implement them into your marriage you will always remember this article!

Normally, when people have just got married they simply believe that their love is true and their love will last.  But because we see many suffering divorce, this belief is definitely not enough to keep the marriage healthy and ongoing. I don’t know how you started off in your marriage, happily, sadly, thriving, or stumbling through the gate, every couple needs to learn these acts of love if they want to remain happy.

The first act:  Having fun together

When is the last time you just went out together and had fun? Been a while hasn’t it. Going out to have fun is done by many, before they get married, and as soon as they marry, they forget it. Some people give excuses for this such as children, money, time .etc. do not allow these factors to keep you from having fun together! Find a day in a week or a month for having fun with your spouse. Make no excuses to miss. Even if you got a conflict, ignore it for the sake of your outing.  You can discuss the issues calmly when you return home and not on that day. Having fun brought you together, so doing it keeps you going.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR FIANCE' BEFORE MARRIAGE

How much do you know about your fiancé’! Relationships and marriage matters;

It matters a lot to know who you are before you get married. I have this time chosen to bring you these questions to find out how much you know the one you intend to marry. Knowing is a sign of caring. You need to learn daily! Knowing your fiancé’s or spouse’s back ground, tastes and interests is good for you.

The questions designed are as follows:-

1. What is their full name?

2. What is their favorite flavor of ice cream?

3. What was or is their favorite subject in school?

4. How old were they when they first kissed?

5. What is their favorite color?

6. What is their section of the newspaper?

7. Where and when (month and day) did you first meet?

Companionship and sex in marriage relationships

 Companionship

Dr. Henry Wilson when Bishop of Chelmsford, in his research about marriage found out that the second reason as to why women get married is companionship. It is next to love. He added that the daily living of men and women in marriage requires quality friendship. This caters for the social and emotional well being of the couple.

In the past, a good woman was classified in functional terms as: a mother, a cook, a nurse in her home; and a husband as a provider, and a hard worker.However, what we need   and expect today are the interpersonal skills and abilities to love, communicate, support and nurture each other every day and through the life crises. If we fail to do these it indicates our inability to adjust from the old style of life to the new design which yields intimacy. Let us learn to adjust, so that we get the best results out of our relationships. 

How does your partner look at you? A friend or a terrorist, tyrant, “soldier”! Search your heart, it will reveal to you who you are. And if you realize you are not good to your partner, devise means to change before you lose him or her.

THE GENUINE LOVE COMMITMENT IN MARRIAGES

The love you promise to your spouse should be genuine

Commitment to love: many couples promise their undying love at the altar and yet in a few years their love turns sour. Where does the promise of affection, excitement, happiness and romance go? When we hear or see divorce taking place, we understand that the promises were inadequate.

Have you seen someone clinging on another claiming that they love them? There is real confusion as to how to distinguish erotic infatuation from genuine lasting love. 

A lot of confusion originates in the learning of faulty attitudes. Many people confuse sex with love. Friend, the two are different. To this kind of people the main motif for marriage is sexual. If anything goes wrong they justify divorce on the ground that the passion has gone out of the relationship or when they have gotten a more sexually attractive alternative.

TRUST AND INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS

What makes a marriage and a family?

Have you taken time to consider what makes a successful marriage relationship? A marriage functions when it is understood as a life-long commitment to nurturing each other’s physical, psychological and social needs, actively seeking ways of loving each other and giving a sense of belonging, making oneself available as a friend and a sexual partner and ensuring the best conditions for promotion of the life of children and spouses.

 Marriage involves:- a recognition of emotional needs; a commitment to meeting needs through caring action; an effective communication system; a capacity to adjust to changing needs and to nurture each other and the relationship throughout  the marriage.

Adultery the breaker of relationships and marriage bonds!

 THE TALE OF A DEAD CHILD
Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse(Dictionary.com). Wikipedia  puts it that adultery is a type of extramarital sex. Historically, adultery has been considered to be a serious offense by many cultures and it almost always constitutes grounds for divorce.

Adultery involving a married woman and a man other than her husband was considered a very serious crime. And  an adulterer is a person who engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse.Adultery is considered by Christians to be immoral and a sin, if you read the  passage in 1 Corinthians 6:9–10.

Here I bring you the impact of adultery on James and Rose's marriage
James and Rose have been happily married for four years now. In this period they begot a baby girl who is now two years of age. They are Christians and James holds a respectable position in the church.

Parents and adolescent children

Handling adolescent children

At adolescent age, parents have to change the way of dealing with their children; to renegotiate the relationship between them and their children.

Change technique: at adolescence, children reach a level of self sufficiency whereby they require less help in their studies and with their duties and fewer summons. Many parents are not ready for this and continue treating their children as if they were still small: this does not usually work.

Accept the psychological changes in an adolescent: Children at this age tend to have defiant attitude. As long as this does not get out of hand, parents should understand that this constitutes part of their psychological development and they should not over react to this behavior.

Apply caution in certain areas of hazardous behavior: Adolescence is accompanied by several risks which young people should be warned about; violent or high risk sports, drugs, sex, antisocial behavior and others.

Be prepared for emotional changes; in adolescence it is possible that children feel less close to their parents, insecure, embarrassed when with relatives, nervous with bruised self esteem… this emotional turmoil should be seen as a passing phase and parents need to exercise patience and treat their children with friendliness as opposed to bad temperateness.

Family instabilities

It is every one’s desire to make a stable and peaceful family. In fact when things have fallen apart elsewhere, our utmost desire would be getting rest at home.In our dreams we imagine an ideal home, where all issues are handled amicably; when mum and dad are at peace, and in agreement in matters at home. In the same way, when such peace is present at home, the children find joy to stay.Unfortunately, this kind of environment is no more in most of our homes. Different circumstances have brought disorganization and disharmony in our homes.

This time the environment got sour because of a pregnancy that one of the most loved children begot. It is said that in this home, there was a lot of love between the parents themselves and their children too. One of the girls was much more loved by her father and on several occasion he even moved with her.

This girl attended school and her performance was always pleasing to the parents. She was in her vacation after finishing high school and waiting to join university.  In this vacation is when she got the pregnancy.

COURTSHIP A KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!

There should be courtship before marriage. If you don’t do it you may face it rough.  Read today’s article to learn of the risks you should avoid and basic knowledge you need before you marry!

Signs of violence: One of the most pressing problems is violence within the couple or the family. It is common to find high levels of family abuse in all societies, even in the most wealthy and civilized. Below is a list  of violence indicators which already appear in courtship and may be clear precursors to an abusive relationship, examine this  list and check out to see  if they are present in your partner:

• §  He or she drinks alcohol regularly
• §  He or she is insensitive to wards animals or children
• §  He or she pays hurtful or humiliating things to you.
• §  He or she wants to control what you do, say, buy and so on.
• §  He or she wants to separate you to separate from your family, friends and work companions.
• §  He or she has very marked mood swings.
• §  He or she has behaved violently in the past although always with excuses.
• §  When you disagree he or she grabs and shakes you.
• §  When angry he or she throws or break things or bangs his or her fists down on the table.
• §  He or she blames other people for his or her problems.

The children’s out cry for love at home

Billy Graham tells a story about a college girl who was critically injured in a car accident. As she lay dying, she said to her mother, “mom, you taught me everything I needed to know to get by in life- low to light my cigarette, how to hold my cocktail glass, how to have intercourse without getting pregnant. But you never taught me how to die. Teach me quick, mom, because I’m dying.”

The police arrested a 17 year old boy and sent him to a detention home to await trial, where he suddenly went berserk. He wrenched a piece of radiator pipe loose, broke every window he could reach, and then banged on the pipes for four hours, until when he was subdued by tear gas. Later, when questioned about his spree (action/ misbehavior), he said, “I had nothing to lose. I have already lost the only thing that could have kept me and this was my parents.”

How to prevent divorce

Divorce can be prevented because it is not good. Psychotherapists and medics have put the following preventive measures in place for us. Please read them!
Resolution of conflicts: To overcome the array of conflicts which necessarily arise out of living together, it is necessary to be well prepared in conflict resolution skills.
 
Constant verbal exchange: A lack verbal exchange and effective communication is a very subtle, pernicious problem in married life. Regular conversation, from the most inconsequential to the most intimate, is imperative. This activity strengthens trust, friendship and loving bonds.
 
Share authority and duties: An authoritarian attitude on the part of one or both of the spouses may trigger a crisis. In a relationship founded on love the greater part of one’s happiness is found in making a loved one happy. It is therefore necessary to share the different duties incumbent in living as a couple or a family and reaching agreements which please both partners concerning the distribution of these responsibilities.
 
Do not think marriage is a fairy tale: Spouses should never expect a perfect relationship which fully satisfies them in all aspects. It they think like this their disappointment and dissatisfaction will be such that they want to separate. Both have to think that a happy marriage is only achieved with a good measure of endeavor and sacrifice on both parts. And even with good will on both parts, the relationship will go through some frustrating moments.

DIVORCE AND CAUSES OF DIVORCE

Divorce is a growing problem. Only in countries where it is legally restricted it is under control. But why do people get divorced? The explanations offered by divorcees  to lawyers or judges could well be stereotypical, convenient answers to avoid drawing the process out any longer than is necessary.

The real causes perhaps remain hidden or are confided only to the closest family or friends. One of the most reliable sources are the psychotherapists who help one or other partner to overcome the crisis.

Coming to agreement with someone to take on a marital relationship is a good but very challenging action. If we enjoy any harmonious life, we must celebrate that. On the other hand when things do not go right, the loved ones may find themselves tearing up each other. Divorce to many, is the option.

The psychotherapists Whilsman,M.A., Dixon,A.E.,and Johnson,B. in 1998 in their findings about divorce put up the following four issues to be the main causes of divorce in descending order:

• Communication problems; couples say, “We don’t understand each other”.
• Problems of authority; “we can’t reach agreements. Both of us want to be in control”.
• Unrealistic expectations; “marriage should be something marvelous.”
• Sexuality; “I am not satisfied with our sex life.”

THE SIX DIMENSIONS OF DIVORCE

Getting divorced is no simple matter. It requires different areas being dealt with at different times. This transforms the process into something slow, drawn out and painful. The fact is divorce where children are involved may never end as one may get divorced from a spouse but not from one’s children. Paul Bohannan, identified six important dimensions in the area of divorce (Bohannan, P, .1970)

Emotional divorce: before a divorce is made public, and official, the couple will pass through a period of strong emotional change. It is a distressing stage in which one or both of them have decided on taking legal steps.  The love that once existed has turned into hate, resentment and hostility. Some people feel so much psychic pain that they turn to alcohol or other substances in an attempt to put the matter out of the mind. There are those who fall into deep depression, others come down with some illness, due to the low levels of defenses. Loneliness is a fairly widespread feeling, since outwardly the marriage appears to work but actually both spouses feel tremendously alone.

Legal divorce: the day comes when the divorce papers have to be presented. Every country has its own legislation in this respect. However, all of them demand a long list of documents, declarations, and proceedings.  It is a very unpleasant experience which only serves to emphasize the frustration. At this stage the couple is no longer living together, but they have to come into contact to exchange papers, to sign documents and so on. Besides the many displeasures, a long list of bureaucratic fees has to be faced which can mount up to a sizeable sum.

Economic empowerment of young adults is a duty of their parents

“A man rises to the level of his superiors or falls to the level of his inferiors according to the class he emulated through his choice of associates.”- Napoleon Hill

The challenge of unemployment: universities and tertiary institutions send out graduates all the time who cannot find work for years after graduation. This is the cause of many social challenges among youths.

Sources of economic livelihood for people:  we can generate income when we;

Get employed: - this is the largest source of income in public and private sectors. A salary is paid for the labour.

Specialize in different services: - experts in different fields are paid well for their services. These can be lawyers, doctors, auditors, engineers, and accountants.

Do entrepreneurship: - when we set up small, medium and large scale businesses, we get a profit from the sells made or services provided.

Make Investments: - investors use their money to acquire assets and businesses which generate money. Investors use their money to work for them.

Economic empowerment of the young: today there is a lot of economic challenge. Parents should consider activities that can generate money and teach the young to do them. Income nowadays can come from areas including but not limited to:- transport, marketing, trading, shop keeping, food production, bee keeping, hair dressing, tailoring, mechanics, carpentry, building, painting, plumbing, compound designing, baking, dry cleaning, accounting poultry and animal rearing.

The trouble when Children are Leaving their parents’ homes!

Loving parents in lovely homes should learn it this time that when their children grow into adults, they can then lead their way of life. Instead of commanding, negotiations work better! It is true you dearly love the children but please let them go!!

‘’They have no intention of growing up. Why should they? The nest is too comfortable at home. Food is prepared, temperature regulated, clothes are laundered and all bills are paid. There is no incentive to face the cold world of reality.’’Dr. J.C.Dodson.

The final challenge between parents and their children comes when the children mature into young adults. Releasing children into the world is a difficult moment to parents.

Dr. Dodson  in his research on parenting in USA, found this question so common in parents: “ what was the greatest problem faced in dealing with your parent , or in-laws, and how how will you relate differently to your grown children than your parents have done to you?”

Commonly the answer was ; “the unwillingness of parents to release their children and permit them to live their own lives” .

In his findings some of his respondents put it this way;

·     

           “Mother  felt that my leaving home was an insult. She could not let go, she couldn't realise , I needed to become an independent person.”

·      

             “One of the greatest problem is to have my parents see me as an adult”.

·      

         “Our parents never seemed able to grasp the reality of the fact that we had grown from dependent children, to capable responsible adults”.

·      

       "I am 54 years old but when I visit my mother I am still not allowed to do certain things such as peeling carrots, because I do not do them correctly”

The man didn’t care about her, so she died with the baby in her womb!

Friends running relationships, this time I have brought you a story of a  man who didn’t care when his wife’s delivery time came! The woman surely passed on with the baby in the womb.

I wish to point it out to my readers that carrying a pregnancy puts a woman’s life at risk, so help them.

This happened in a family that I knew very well. These people lived in a village which was about four miles away from the town center where they could find medical help. The story is told that it the man didn’t find it necessary for his wife to go for antenatal care during her pregnancy.

The woman however, tried her way out and she used to go for medical help. When the nine months were full, a few days passed and she started getting the labor pains. She knew that these were signals for delivery. The man was away in the garden, so she sent for him to come and save the situation.

The woman waited, but the man took his time. He was mindless. The labor pains increased in their intensity over time. When he got home the woman asked him for money to get transport means to carry her to the hospital. In response the man said, ‘’you go, you must be having money with you’’.

Women matters during pregnancy

 Ladies and gentlemen, in loving relationships, this time I wish to bring you a lesson about pregnant women who we sometimes call expectant mothers.

For a man to have a baby there must be a woman and this same thing applies to the women. The two therefore need to take the responsibility of the pregnancy once it is detected to be there. By the way you have to prepare yourselves before the pregnancy even comes. Lovers please take a serious study about this.

The baby who forms in the woman’s womb scientifically is like a foreign body. The woman’s body treats it the same way as a foreign organism which causes disease. So her body happens to fight the growing fetus. The good news is that naturally the immunity of women gets suppressed so that it doesn’t fight the growing fetus. This is what helps mothers to carry the pregnancies up to the nine (9) months when they give birth.

However, the immunity suppression comes with its own challenges: it exposes the woman to the risk of disease. When a few disease germs get into her body, she is not able to resist them because her immunity is low. For this reason, many times pregnant mothers fall sick. Men should learn this to provide the necessary help.

Learn the importance of sex education to children!

The basic goals in sex education

The following six suggestions list a few goals which loving parents may hope to accomplish.

That he might learn to give and receive love: Sex education should help the child to be both loving and lovable.  Children should be able to give love and to receive love as well. A baby thrives on love of his parents and family and he learns to trust them and give love in return. When a child begins school, his circle of love expands as he makes friends and meets teachers. In preteen years he develops friends of his own age and sex. Then in adolescence he transfers his devotion to certain members of opposite sex. Wise parents will help their children progress steadily from one step to the next in this pattern of giving and receiving love.

That he may be satisfied with his sex role: One of the most important aspects of sex education is that of teaching healthy masculine and feminine identification. Sexuality involves the name given at birth, the toys played with, the clothes worn, the friends played with, the choice of courses in school, the way the roles and responsibilities in the home are viewed and last, the way in which sexual needs and urges are satisfied by responsible and committed human beings.  Parents must teach their boy to be glad he is a boy and their girl to be pleased she is a girl. This satisfaction comes through the girls’ admiration for her mother and a boy’s respect for his father. During the transitional ages especially in early adolescence a child may find difficulties accepting his or her sexual identity. Some girls feel no pride in being feminine and actually fearing to be women. Many boys especially when they are small in stature than others fear that they may not be able to real men.  The respect and love which parents show each other help teach that both men and women have a worthy place in life. Parents can also reassure their child that they love and appreciate him for what he is.

Design governing principles to make good relationships and marriages!

What would you like your family to be like? I mean do you have a picture of what you want your family should be before you make it? This is then the aim of this time’s write up.

Am compelled to write about it because I have seen many relationships and marriages running on unending crises, moods, quick fixes and instant self gratifications instead of sound principles that govern the way of life and bring harmony in homes.

It is very easy to see a relationship or a marriage which is not working on right principles for the symptoms are evident on the surface more so whenever there is stress and pressure. People become very critical; sometimes silent or they start yelling and overreacting.

The children, who see these kinds of behaviors, happen to grow up thinking that the only to solve problems is fighting or flight.

For the reason that I hate fighting and unbecoming behavior in the would be lovely homes, I wish to invite you all to learn that there are correct, changeless principles and values that we can share to live happily.

Love and social relationships need a strong character foundation

Your character is the foundation of the kind of relationship you have between you and others. Stop telling people that I am like that; that’s me and so on. People who have learnt effectiveness know it that they have to control situations but not the situations to control them.

Relationships that work are based on a strong foundation of character. When we start a relationship we need to build it and maintain it. Without trust the best we can do is to compromise; without trust, we lack the credibility for open, mutual learning and communication and real reactivity.

But if our emotional account is high, credibility is no longer an issue. Enough deposits have been made so that you know that we deeply respect each other. We are focused on the issues, not on personalities or positions.

Because we trust each other, we are open. We put our cards on table and deliberate on them. Even when we see things differently, I know that you are willing to listen with respect. Both of us are committed to try to understand each other,s point of view deeply and to work together for a better alternative that will be a better answer for both of us.

when children lose their parents suffering crops in!!

The danger of losing a parent while young!

This is not new to anyone of us, we have seen it all over, but I need to place it into writing so that we can attach some value to what happens around us. If it is not you, it is on someone in your neighbor hood, in your community or somewhere else in the world, but it has happened. Probably you have seen at school.

It affects all children, but it happens to be worse when it comes to the girl child. I am not being biased but when you take closer observation, they suffer much more bitterly. Their suffering is beyond misery.

Let me share with you Jennifer’s story.  At this time she is thirty years of age. This is how it all started. Jennifer was born in a family of four siblings and happened to be the youngest. The first two children are boys and the last two are the girls. Their parents died when Jennifer the youngest was still very young. They lived in a place which was close to a city but these children knew none of their relatives.

Jennifer says that she was told that her father’s death was caused by fever which came simply and in a few days he was no more. Again, it was just after a month’s time that her mother too died. At that point they were left with no parental care.

In a good marriage, all should play thier part.

 Play your roles to make a lovely home!

The sweetness of a marriage; the joy in a marriage; the peace in a marriage; the success fulness of a marriage; all come when the parties therein play their roles. This time I feel we should look at children and parents’ roles to the in making a lovely home!!

Roles of children in a lovely marriage

Children, it is your duty to obey your parents, for it is the right thing to do. Respect your father and mother, so that you may live a long life on earth. Children even if your parents are meant to love you, obedience is your duty. Children should remember what their parents teach them. They shouldn’t forget those instructions and never to forget them; because when they follow carefully they live longer.

King Solomon wrote that the correct teachings should be carefully followed in a way similar to that we protect our eyes.  Following correct principles and guidelines of life saves us from untimely deaths. Parents get stronger attachments to children who are obedient and find it very easy to provide for them.

When I move through the streets, I find so many children that didn’t receive the correct guidelines that protect them from danger. In the nights you find young girls on the streets selling themselves as prostitutes; they go to disco halls and spend nights there; they dress indecently; one time as I happened to move very early at 4:00am I found ladies who were only dressed in tops which could only cover up to the lower part of the buttocks. The boys smoke, sniff fuels like petrol and consume alcohol.

Relationships and Marriages should be started at the right time!

Remember how you started your relationship; do you think it was the right time? The enjoyment you anticipate in a relationship may not be if you do not start it well. Young children should wait for physical, social, spiritual and economic maturity before they venture into marriage.

Let me use this scenario to explain my point to you dear reader: in my primary school we were mixed both girls and boys. Some boys and girls were of big size than many of us who we short and tiny.

In class seven the last class at primary level in my country, I attended with a fairy big girl by the names of Teopista. The two of us came from same village and in primary seven (P.7) we joined the boarding section to have more time to read seriously so that we pass our finals well.

 On certain weekends, the school allowed us to go home to get personal effects. So Teopista would go home on Friday evenings and reported back to school on Sundays. Certain boys on the village started befriending her and offered simple gifts. With those gifts and money her class seemed to have risen higher than that of the other girls.

We sat for the final national examinations at the end of the year and then took our vacation. During that period Teopista had more time with the village boys. A lot went on. At the end of the vacation period, our results were released. I had passed in grade two (2), she had passed in grade four (4).

Watch your tongue to build a successful marriage relationship!

THE HUMAN TONGUE IN SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES
The tongue is one of the most important organs that the human body has. It is one of the small organs but very useful. The tongue is located within the mouth cavity. A cavity simply means a space. Biologically the tongue is a very important tool; it is used to taste food. It has sections which taste sweetness, saltiness, bitterness and sourness of foods and drinks. If what we are taking in is not good, there is always a response which tries to reject it.

The tongue is used also to kiss. People (loved ones) use it to express love to one another. I hope this is not very new to you my reader.

The human tongue is so useful in communication because it aids speech. Slow speakers usually have a challenge with their tongue. Without a tongue you can speak. May be you can simply be bubbling.
I would like now to open your mind on the way you use your tongue: - ladies and gentlemen, we all stumble in many things, but if any one of us does not stumble in a word, he/she is a perfect person. That person has the power to direct his/her body.

Marriages should be founded on a firm foundation of love

The human need to love should be seen in marriage relationships!

The many modes in which couples and families exist today may be due to wish to break out of established molds or to depart from blind tradition. However, we do not hear that generalized tendency is one of living the life of a hermit, of wanting to isolate ourselves from all others and to have no close relationships.

Very few people can be happy alone. Our most enjoyable activities lose their attraction when they cannot be shared. A couple made of a man and woman who are committed to each other, represents the ideal context in which to reach a reasonable state of happiness, within the imperfection in which we live.

Therefore, the vast majority of people, even in this time of changing values, seek the company of someone of the opposite sex and the legitimization of this relationship. The need to be united with someone who provides friendship, love, support and emotional balance is a universal phenomenon.

 Marriage is a transcendental step, which should be taken for reason. When there are very few reasons this union runs the risk of breaking up. Below we have some valid reasons for marriage that should be taken into account by both parties in order to improve the probabilities of forging a successful marriage:

Good marriages require ample time for courtship!

What is courtship?

Courtship is a selection process by which some options are discarded while others are kept in the mind, according to the qualities and circumstances perceived.

Why should there be courtship before marriage?

There are important psychological and biological differences between a man and a woman. In order to maintain a balanced relationship it is useful to be aware of these differences.

Preparation for marriage does not happen by chance but requires conscious, planned effort on the part of both partners.

The temperament of an individual has enormous effect on the relationship between a man and a woman. To know one’s own temperament and that of the loved one is a very contributing factor to success-fulness of a couple.

The work of getting to know each other and getting ready for living together with someone all your life has a serious bearing on courtship and the success of your marriage.

What family type do you Desire?

Families in the current situation
Nowadays there are many variations on the concept of a couple; thus it is more necessary than ever to be prepared for new challenges.

Living together with no legal tie is today very common, yet it may stimulate certain unease and the wish to normalize the situation on the part of the women.

Loving and being loved is inherent in the human being. Thus the search for a companion is and will continually be a priority for most people.

All along couples and families have existed for ages. A home is our first school and affects the life and future of both parents and the children in there. That is why it is of fundamental importance that a marital relationship be built upon a solid foundation.

Men should learn the strength in Women

The strength in women

The women are the mothers of our nation. When they play their right roles in the homes the children that come from those homes are very useful and productive.

Some cultures have appreciated the value in women but still in many cultures they are marginalized. In the bible I have read about the Jewish culture where if they wanted to count people at a function, they would only count men.

Men should stop marginalizing women; because their lives are in the hands of women.

Who is that successful man who has not had a touch of a serious mother! Tell me where he is!

I would like to narrate you some scenarios in this write up to show you the power in women.

A Ugandan army general died in the hands of a woman. The general was major Kazini. He had survived several wars and gun shorts but simply lost his life when he was hit by a woman called Draru with an Iron bar. Imagine, a woman to kill a general!

Good health is of great value in lovely homes

What brings disease in lovely homes?

The desire of most homes is to have good life and living long if possible. People can do a lot to save the life of a sick individual in a home. Life has great value; we cannot give it a price; we can’t simply let it go. That is why we cry and mourn when one of us dies.

Being healthy is when we are physically well, mentally sound, and emotionally stable. If any of those areas is suffering, then we are not healthy. We can surely work towards the wellbeing of all these three, if we have willing hearts and the commitment to ourselves and those you love. I have to talk about commitment to your own self because change must start with me before I influence another person. I must have private victory over myself before I gain public victory.

Some diseases that we suffer are a result of our life styles. For example; neglecting exercises and to much sitting with out exercising.

Feeding: what do you put into your mouth as food? As much as food is very important for your survival and life processes, some foods if not taken appropriately can lead to disease. Tell me the germs that cause blood pressure both low and high! What about diabetes? Be careful about food.

There is a season for every thing in our lovely homes!

Lovers and those getting into relationships should today get to know it that there is a time for everything. This is the essence of my write-up to you my reader. I invite you to peruse through the following lines and paragraphs to draw some lessons.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose on earth. There is a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what was planted;

There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to breakdown and a time to build up; there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;

A time to throw stones away and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;There is a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away;

There is a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;There is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace; 

Mission statements- a directing tool to successful, lovely homes.

When coming together, all those marrying have a goal. They wish to have a very success full marriage. There is always serious promising of love to each other both secretly between the two and publicly on wedding ceremonies.

The well being of our homes can be decided by those who make the family. This requires all the parties in the home to participate. Normally families start with husband and wife and later the children come in.
Families need to sit together to look at the future and set themselves guiding rules that will govern their lives as they stay together. The participants in this then commit themselves to doing what they have agreed upon.

No one should be forced; everyone must see the necessity of this. The statement that is written down is what we call a mission statement. You can equate it to a constitution for a country. When it is made, whoever comes follows it. It is not simply damped, or violated. It is always referred to, to see the way forward.  No man adjusts alone to suit his /her selfish need and purpose.

Commitment to love a very important aspect.

Making and keeping commitments leads to very successful relationships and washes away the tears of unfaithfulness. Are you committed to your lover?
Taking a choice to start a relationship is making a commitment. All of us need to know this so that we avoid making blunders. Real relationships are rooted in the mind; someone puts the other into the heart. As the relationships grow people develop trust in one another until when they decide to take them up.
I have seen people breaking these commitments. Many a time the women have said they gave in the whole of themselves but ended up in disappointment. I don’t want to say that this is done by men only; the women also do it to men.
I would therefore like to invite you to read through the following lines of this write up so that you take care and advice others as they try to travel the journey into relationships.

Properly educated women make lovely homes!!

Consider the education of your wife. Properly educated women make lovely homes.

I have read the statement that when you educate a woman you have educated a nation. I have also come to prove it that women are as bright as men. In fact so many women are much brighter than men. I don’t know what your experience has been, but I think you have seen some girl/lady along the way of life who has exhibited great abilities in different areas of life.

I have seen women participate in leadership positions from local to international levels. They have penetrated the medical line as nurses, doctors, and pharmacists. In law they have made very good lawyers and magistrates. In education they have made wonderful teachers from kindergarten level to lecturers in colleges and Universities. In sports, women are there, they ride bicycles and motorbikes, they drive in motor races, and they play volley ball, netball, and basket ball, they run short and long races. In these ways and many others women display great abilities. They have won medals.

Education provides us with information suitable for correct living. Through education, man’s ignorance is swept away. Education opens to us doors of opportunities. With education communication is made easy at local, national and international levels. Education is the most important single key factor to family, community, national and international development. Many women are farmers, who need training so that they do the farming from an informed point of view. The farm/garden yields are much better when one applies the best practices.

Learn good lessons about the fighting of poverty in lovely homes

The impact of poverty on families

Have you ever experienced the fangs of poverty getting to your nerves? It may look to be a funny question to some people but poverty is very dangerous.  Poverty has denied us the goodies of life. 

Our friends have run away from us because we have nothing to offer. In the news papers, books, televisions and other media, we have read and seen the impact of poverty on societies. However, before a society is announced to be a poor one, it is the homes that come first. 

The feeling of living a life of a financial failure hurts and lessens our dignity. It is unbearable whenever we feel financially handicapped.  We feel miserably tormented in a situation not easy to cope with the dynamics of whatever society we live in.

Learn about children responsibilities in a lovely home

Children are the most important treasure in any home!!

In most cases, child bearing brings joy to families. Women are happy to learn that they have conceived a pregnancy for a man they love. Men who understand what it means to carry a pregnancy, do their best to provide to the needs of expectant mothers.

The aim for this is to bring up a good baby. The parents desire that their children get the best from them and work tirelessly to prepare them for a bright future. The expectation mainly is that the children appreciate these efforts. Mothers in most cases spend sleepless nights to ensure the well being of their children.

Alright, most parents fulfill their roles but do the children know what is expected of them. They may simply think that since they didn’t apply to be born, then the parent should be in for it. It is my concern today to inform you my reader that children have a duty in their homes.

Read about the most important tool that solves all problems in relationships.

DIALOGUE (POWER IN A WORD)

Have you ever seen someone denying another to speak their word?

Where? At home, community, workplace, church, meeting, government?

Okay, read this article you will tell the problem and possibly find a solution as well. 

In dialogue people use words and this is known to everyone.

A word is more than just instructions. A word constitutes two elements;-

•        Reflection
•        Action

There is no true word that has no action. An authentic word must be able to transform reality. Therefore when a true word is spoken, the world is transformed.

Action + reflection= word=work

Sacrifice of reflection= activism

Sacrifice of action =verbalism

Human existence cannot be silent and can’t be nourished by false words but only by true words with which men and women transform the world. To speak a word shouldn’t be a privilege of some few persons but a right to everyone. No one human being can say a true word alone, nor can he/she say it for another.

Dialogue is an encounter between ‘’men”, thus no one should be denied to speak their word. Denying others to speak is dehumanizing them and yourself. In dialogue people find their significance as human beings. Dialogue is a necessity for our existence.

In dialogue people create, thus it must not serve as a crafty -instrument for the domination of one person by another. If there is dialogue, then there is liberation of humankind.

Dialogue cannot exist without;-

a.       Love

b.      Humility

c.       Faith

d.      Hope

e.      Critical thinking

An important message to a couple that desires marriage (part one)

For a couple to get married there must be mutual love for each other. It shouldn’t be one party being interested and the other as if just helping. To exemplify this, allow me take you through a story of an introduction ceremony in a rich man’s home, to show you how the bride helped her boy friend get over.

James and Jane mate each other at church. They saw each other for about a year and a half. One day James suggested to Jane about marriage, but Jane didn’t accept the suggestion because she thought in her mind that some one to marry her was meant to come from a rich family as well and was to possess a recognizable profession like being a Doctor, Lawyer, or an Engineer. 

On several occasions those who were close to Jane had seen her trying to get closer to men of such professions unfortunately her desire didn’t come to pass. Over time she told those close to her that she wanted to get married. She had a good job to do and earned a fair income. She wanted independence and because she had the means, she left her parents home and went for a rental.

She filled her house with so many goodies and it really looked nice. This all she did but her joy still didn’t come. I personally heard her speak that she usually bought food in her house but failed to cook and eat it because she had no body to cook it for or to enjoy it with.

After several disappointments from those who somehow showed interest in her, she one day went back and talked to James that she was available if he still needed her. James had loved her deeply in heart. He told her that he would answer her in a short while. Yes, he did this and the results were positive.

learn a lesson that sometimes there are troubles in relationships but we don't just quit!!

WHEN TROUBLE HITS YOU DO NOT QUIT, IT IS THE SUCCESS YOU WILL CEREBRATE WHEN YOU GO THROUGH!!

Most of the time when people start marital relationships, they only anticipate the good to happen there. They think not of any negatives that can happen. However, I would like to inform you that as long as you live down here on earth, problems must come. The other point is that as long as you are more than one person in a place, because you are different from the other problems will arise. In fact someone you love may severely injure you. Such an injury cuts/pierces deeper because it comes from one you do not expect to do it.

The human heart is unpredictable, it is deceitful. Today it may say one thing and tomorrow another. Am not trying to defend our misbehavior but I feel you should understand what happens and have room in your heart to handle some of those horrible occurrences of life.

Now that you’ve known it, that problems/ challenges/ distracters must come at any point in life, I argue you to read through the following paragraphs. They will direct you into right living that each one of us needs for comfort.

When things go wrong, as sometimes they will, when the road you are trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, as every one of us sometimes learns. And many a fellow turns about, when he might have won, had he stuck to it. Don’t give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow.

Read about a harlot (prostitute) who got married.

Some lovers are not easy, be careful about the one you choose! Allow me take you through a thrilling story of a man who married a harlot.

 A godly man, with a very good reputation in his community married a lady of ill repute, a prostitute, a harlot.  Women like this one, all lived in the same part of the town, so locating her was easy. She was a very beautiful woman. Have you seen harlots in your town? How do they look like?

This man might have even noticed her around town but possibly had no contact with her.   He fell deeply in love with her and was passionate toward her in all ways. He provided a home, possessions and gave himself completely to her, although his family and friends were horrified at his choice.

She seemed to love him too, for a while at least as usually harlots do. They settled into the daily routine of marriage and after some time passed, they were overjoyed to have a beautiful son. The second child was a girl, so they got a daughter.

With time she grew bored and restless, missing her old life style of excitement and the sexual immorality that came with it. She was used to having many men adore her. One man no longer satisfied her tastes and she longed for the expensive gifts of clothing (wool and linen), perfumes, olive oil, food, water, and other drinks, which things she received in exchange for her body.

So she sought them out and began hanging with her old friends. She began a love affair with other men. She began to stay away from home for long periods of time, eventually spending weeks and months away.

Her husband saw her ways; his wife was being unfaithful to him and had dishonored their marriage vows.  She always gave excuses but these grew thin with time.

Learn about the secret expectations ladies/women have from men/husbands.

Does someone call you her boyfriend or a husband? I wish to invite you read this article to know a woman's expectations from you. Read it over and over again for your own advantage!!

• When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
• When she's scared, protect her. 
•  When she stares at your mouth, kiss her. 
•  When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.
• When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
•  When she ignores you, give her your attention.
•  When she pulls away, pull her back.
• When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
•  When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
•  When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.
•  When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.
• When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
•  When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
• When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
•  When she steals your favorite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
• When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
• When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
• When she looks at you with doubt, bark yourself up with the truth.